To Live In The Forest, And Die In The Desert
by Radar-rox
Summary: Set in 2x12, Allan thinks over the end of his relationship with Will


**Wow, haven't been in here for a while... started writing this fic a year ago tomorrow! It's just taken me flippin' ages to get a couple of bits tweaked. **

**Anyway, set in 2x12, slashy, angsty, sweet. Hope you like!**

That was it then. Story of life really. His life, anyway. The things that were most important to him were always lost in the end.

Will and Djaq. Djaq and Will. Both of them. Together.

And he could have neither.

It was Will who had hurt him the most. They'd grown so close, and Allan had thought he'd at least been on the way to feeling the same, but apparently not. Djaq had clouded things, beautiful, exotic, intelligent Djaq, who he was pretty sure didn't know properly how he felt about her.

Not like Will. Will knew. He knew how Allan felt about both of them.

Djaq was one of the gang, but Will… Will was something else. The only two people he knew who were closer were Robin and Much, but they'd had years together, and had that Holy Land thing, whereas he and Will… they'd just seemed to bond instantly.

He remembered the first time. They'd been to the tavern at Nottingham and were stumbling back to camp together when Will had tripped, accidently pulling Allan down on top of him in the undergrowth. Seeing Will sprawled beneath him panting and laughing, their jumbled legs making the leaves below them rustle, Allan couldn't help himself. He pressed his lips firmly to the younger outlaw's, met with surprise but not resistance.

He pulled back, searching Will's face. He looked a bit scared, and pushed Allan off him, sitting up. "What was…. What was that?"

Allan shrugged, trying not to make it a big deal. "Well, y'know, there we were, thought I'd give it a shot. You did look a bit like a girl in the light, with all that stuff 'round your head."

Will was still staring at him. Usually Allan could talk his way out of pretty much anything, but Will was making him uneasy. It was like he could see right through him.

Finally, Will looked down, but it was only for a moment, steadying himself, before pushing himself forward and onto Allan, grapping him by the shirt and kissing him fiercely.

"Mm!" Said Allan, falling backwards in surprise, only to have Will pursue him, crawling over him to plant his lips on Allan's as their bodies thrust urgently together.

There had been countless other nights like that, hot, sweaty passion in the quiet stillness of the forest, as well as stolen goodnight kisses, and hand-holding next to the campfire.

It was over now. He'd been an idiot, and got himself thrown out. Pushed Will closer to Djaq.

He stared moodily over the rooftops to the desert beyond. No-one had told Allan how beautifully the moonlight made the sand glow. But then, no-one had told him a lot of things.

He felt Will approach and sit down next to him, feet dangling over the edge of the building. "Hey."

He nodded a little. "Alright?"

Will kicked his feet idly. "I'm sorry, Allan."

He shrugged. "S'alright."

Will turned to look at him. "It's not though, is it?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, it's just…. It was Djaq, you of everyone knows how I feel about her, how… _we_ feel about her, but-"

Allan placed a hand on Will's arm to stop him. "Forget it mate, it happens. S'not her I'm upset about."

Will's brow creased in confusion, his gorgeous dark eyes glinting beneath. "Then wha-"

Allan raised his eyebrows at him.

"Oh. Right."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for a while, each deep in thought.

"So what about… we were never.."

Will sighed, his demeanour suddenly more awkward. "Allan, I… it's not that… it's Djaq that I love."

Allan looked down and nodded. Will continued, "So much so that I… when we're done here, Djaq and I are staying. We aren't going back with the rest of you."

That was when the world stopped. Allan stared down at his knees, just trying to keep breathing and thinking straight.

It was bound to come to it eventually, really. Allan was surprised anyone still even talked to him after what he'd done, let alone let him back in the gang. He'd been over the moon about getting to spend his time with Will again, and now…

Now he probably wouldn't see him again.

The world came rushing back as Will tentatively touched his leg. "Allan?"

But Will would be happy. He wouldn't be with Allan, and Allan wouldn't be with him, but Will would have Djaq. He'd be happy.

He looked down to the street below, then smirked at Will. "You know I could push you off this roof, right?'

'You know we've jumped off higher roofs than this together at Nottingham, right?'

Allan laughed heartily, truly, and Will smiled in the knowledge that they were going to be ok.

They shoved each other playfully, jumping down from the roof and running though the deserted streets as they continued their game, like a pair of kids. Like best friends.

No more than two steps in front, Will tripped, and Allan fell over him. They rolled over and over each other on the dirt, which still held a fragment of warmth from the day's baking sun, until they came to a stop in the shadow of a building, Allan on top of Will.

Not to keen to move just yet Allan simply lay there panting, listening to Will's pounding heartbeat as the carpenter also tried to get his breath back.

He felt his friend stir beneath him, and begrudgingly heaved himself up to look at him. Will looked back, smiling faintly up at him. Allan loved it when he smiled, it didn't happen very often – not like the smile he flashed at every opportunity – but when it did… it was beautiful.

He tilted his head down, just like he had that first time, but now Will lifted his face up to him, and their lips met softly in the moonlight. Allan lifted his hand to cup Will's face, knowing this was the last time, as Will pulled him down closer to his own body.

He moaned a little into Will's mouth, hoping to just be able to go on kissing him forever. Never have to stop. The world would float away, and it would just be them, but….

Allan gently pulled away, and his heart swelled as Will tried to keep the kiss going. "I had to. Couldn't let you be the one to stop it now, could I?" He grinned.

Will smiled back, and let Allan help him to his feet. They made their way slowly back to Bassam's house, fingers catching together just once as they walked, then never again.

Their relationship had lived in the forest, and it died out here in the desert.

**Please review x**


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